Soul Mosaic

So I have been busy posting several short pieces over the last couple of months, pieces that make up the first sections of my memoir-in-progress:

– The Introduction

– Packing for the Journey

– The End of an Era

All of those musings from the recent past catalyzed this book effort. And they set the stage for what I am about to write — “The Old Country” — aka, revisiting my past.

It is not easy to figure out what made up my younger self, much less how to share it in a story. There were the effects of so many things that influenced me — the time period, culture, place, people, things done to me, all of them ingredients for the “stew” that was me.

Add to that, one other major ingredient – my own nature. Why did I not quit? Why did I fight back even when it felt hopeless? What about the times of mistakes and despair? How did I extract enough emotional nutrition from all those solitary details and moments I loved in life, and why was I able to love anything in life? Lastly, how did I hold onto or regain that elusive quality — hope — when there should have been none? Yes, I am a stubborn person. But stubborn was never enough for this.

So that quest is the focus of the Old Country.

But sharing my past is not the most important part. Everybody has a past filled with things that happened to them. The key is — “What does it all mean…and what can it give to others?”

As I wrote those early pieces, order started to emerge from the chaos, and a book structure emerged.

So, aside from those first sections and then “The Old Country,” there are two more sections to this “Lab Experiment” that will be key:

– The Underworld

– The Return

The Underworld will be that part of the lab experiment where I take all the observations from the Old Country and wring out the meaning and insights. That part is where I will start to make sense of what happened, and to begin gluing the broken fragments – those mosaic bits of me — back together.

And the Return is the joyous end, the realization of who I am, the true power I have, the healing achieved. Make no mistake. A lifetime of abuse leaves permanent scars. Those will be with me to the end. But there is also power, meaning, and richness in this story. And self-love.

So these next pieces going forward may come fast or slow, as the process dictates. Observation, processing, and mindful consideration of what that past is telling me will take time to do well.

But this is what is coming in the months ahead.

My goal is to complete the book draft, then revise, and revise, and revise, so I can finally find an agent to work with to publish this book.

I welcome you along for the rest of the journey, and thank you for following this

This entry was posted on August 30, 2025 at 9:00 am and is filed under Memoir - sexual abuse trauma recovery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.