I’m going to take a moment here to catch my breath. The last few entries have been intense. So it’s time for a Moment of Respite. Just as I would seek out back then.
One of my favorite discoveries was in our bathroom at night. During the day, the bathroom could be moments of fear with Dad and Mom’s fights. But at night, when everyone else was asleep, I would find peace in my own world.
Have you ever had one of those simple green night-lights? They’re nothing special and very inexpensive. You just plug them in and forget them. When the room is dark, they’ll emit a subtle, green glow, just enough to keep you from walking into a wall or stubbing your toe on a door. And I find myself deeply at peace in its presence.
So many times when I was young, especially after those rough days, I would lie awake, unable to sleep. Sometimes I would duck under my blankets with a flashlight to read. Other times, I would conjure up imaginary adventures, dreaming I was off in some faraway land on a heroic journey.
But eventually, when the house grew silent and I knew everyone was asleep, I would pad into the bathroom. Without a sound, I’d shut the door so no one would bother me.
In our bathroom, across from the sink, was a small vanity table with a mirror above it. Underneath was one of those green night lights plugged into the outlet there. I don’t know when I discovered its luminous qualities or its ability to transport me deep within it, but once I did, I visited it often.
Crouched under the table, I would lean in close, with my face right up against it. The darkness of the room was left behind, and instead, I was bathed in a world of fluid green. It seemed to go on forever — no landmarks, just waves of infinite green stretching out before me. I’d sit there for a long time, soothed by its calm. No noise. No people. Nothing. Just peace.
Soul Mosaic 
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