I call this next set of pieces “The Warrior Years.” It was the main part of adulthood and child-rearing, the years when so many things were operating at once.
It was a complicated, stressful set of years: A time I felt vulnerable, uncertain, emotionally scared, and scarred. Yet I was also physically and ethically strong and determined to break the patterns and cycles of my father’s “Family System Rules.”
I wanted our son to be free of that past and its influences to give him a better, healthier life. While it wasn’t always done smoothly, it was always done with great care and love.
To write these well, I need to reflect on the main themes of this period. These will be the pieces for this phase, defining the challenges, the efforts, and the insights:
- Marriage – We were soulmates, but how do we stay married when neither of us has the tools?
- My therapy – Continue to learn the life lessons I missed, and identify and heal the pain from the past, all while managing current life responsibilities.
- Parenthood – Breaking cycles for our son’s sake, and meeting his challenges
- Jobs – The dance of job demands, bills, and change
- Friendship – Do I even dare trust?
- God – So, where do we go from here?
- And…My Parents – Confusing messages and keeping him in line while giving our son “some” extended family.
Stay tuned…

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