This period was a “status-quo” one – mostly a continuation of the progress and healing that began in 2009.
Our son
Whatever Ed and I were struggling with, we had worked hard to keep it from affecting our son. He was doing well, which was a relief to both of us.
It had been great having him back in the state for college, even as we didn’t see him that much. He savored his classes in German literature and was busy participating in drama productions, clubs, and fund-raising and social service activities.
By 2012, he had finished his undergraduate degree program and had been accepted to a Master’s degree program in Higher Education Administration at another local university. But first, he earned the chance to intern for the summer at a university in Germany in their higher education administration department. It was a rare chance, so he delayed starting the graduate classes and quickly accepted the internship.
He apparently had written his entire application in German, and between that and whatever he wrote to them, that was all the German university needed to decide he was their choice. On his return, while he waited to start his classes, he spent several months working, first in a local home-improvement store, operating forklifts, and then driving a recycling truck for a university — whatever it took to save up some money. He was finding his way in life and making the most of every opportunity life sent him.
Ed and I
As for Ed, he was coming back from the depths of his depression. He and I continued to work our way through the long list of medical specialists and tests that we had drawn up. In between that, we continued researching journals and medical research studies at the university library. While he was struggling with his health issues and exhaustion, at least we were both back on track together and able to give each other the support we needed for our respective issues. Even as his job loss in 2011 hit him hard and would take years for him to process and make his peace with, we both knew it was the best thing for him, health-wise.
For myself, I was still volunteering and then, beginning in 2012, working full-time as an educator at the science museum. That was a gift from the Universe, and such a healing time for me.
And I kept painting with my art group, occasionally doing an art show here and there. I even set up a website with all of my artworks on display that people could order prints from.
At the same time, I worked with the trauma specialist regularly as we began the long process of understanding just what a lifetime of trauma had done to me. It was slow work, taking on one issue at a time, but it was the best way. During this period, I would learn more of the things I’d not had the time for before, and that particular therapist provided me a strong support system. It wasn’t yet time for the deepest wounds – they would remain hidden until both of my parents were gone. Then, those ghosts would come calling. But for now, I was doing the work I needed.
My parents
And my parents? Through all this time and even the early 2000s, there had been no need for more confrontations. They lived in a retirement community in Pennsylvania, were older, and so were our kids. I didn’t need to be the warrior-protector anymore. We’d visit them periodically, and it was a quiet time on that front.
But there were signs of other issues about Dad that were showing up, as these years began the last chapter of his life. And as with all things “Dad,” they were never going to be easy.
It’s just that now, the challenges with both of them would be of a slightly different nature….
Note:
I am seeking financial support to complete my memoir, work with an editor, and return home for fact-checking. Your help would mean the world to me as I take this step toward healing and giving voice to my journey.
Please like, comment, and share this post to help spread the word. The link for my fundraiser is on GoFundMe. Thank you for your support.
Soul Mosaic 
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