Before starting this new phase of writing, I did what I did before I started writing this book – I sought God. Some may think it’s strange. That’s okay. It is my way of preparing for and honoring a serious work.
Rituals have power for me. They are a way to clarify my mind. Ask for help. And cement my commitment. Especially for a task I feel inadequate for, and am intimidated by.
For me, a particularly meaningful ritual is to visit the nearby synagogue’s mikveh. It is a pool of natural water that you immerse in while saying prayers, or just talking with God. I do this in moments of significant events or transitions, moments of grief or healing, or, in this case, new challenges.
As I enter the water and sink below the surface, I hold one prayer in my mind — just a one-word prayer in Hebrew: Hineini. In English, it means “Here I am, God.”

I cannot think of a more powerful prayer than to say – I am here, and I will do what you wish. It is total submission to the Universe…to the will of a Higher Power. It is surrendering this work for whatever God wants it to be. And it is my acknowledgement that I cannot do this alone. I am simply the tool. So, God, speak, and I will write.
There is freedom that comes as I float in that pool. Stress eases. And as I step out, I feel like that old self is shed, and I am ready to go forward.
So as I begin this new section…Hineini.
Note:
I am seeking financial support to complete my memoir, work with an editor, and return home for fact-checking. Your help would mean the world to me as I take this step toward healing and giving voice to my journey.
Please like, comment, and share this post to help spread the word. The link for my fundraiser is on GoFundMe. Thank you for your support.

Leave a comment