Those recurring moments in time
The next step I need to make sense of my life is to look for things that “repeat” — objects, metaphors, themes, events. It’s one of the reasons I mind map and journal so much.
When I spread out items on a large sheet of paper and stand back, that’s when I start to notice that certain elements come up again and again. And I spot connections between them.
With regards to my journals, I write in Word docs so I can read my writing better. I keep them in binders by date, and for each entry, I put a sticky note at the top of the page that has a few key words as to the topic.
The other plus to storing my notes in Word is that I can then do a global search of the words on that list to see how many documents they show up in. That lets me see if there are changes in that issue over time, whether it’s progress, a relapse, or some new way they come out in my life.
Periodically, I will flip through my journals, scanning those sticky notes with the topics, and, without fail, I’ll start to see repeating topics and phrases. Then I’ll also go through any folders of scribbled notes I haven’t journaled about yet.
From all of these, I’ll just make a word list of the repeating topics I’ve observed. Those are the precious clues to a truth I haven’t yet figured out. They are pointers to places I need to dig deeper and think about more. The fact that they come up again and again tells me they are “unfinished.”
The “treasure” map
Finally, I make a large mind map of all the recurring things on the sheet. I try to group the words in related categories and look for cross-connections between the categories.
While it may look chaotic, at least for my visually-driven brain, I need it. It is the map that leads me to the treasure I am after that I can only see when I have the big picture before me:
Patterns
Patterns are the home of beliefs, habits, and the unconscious forces that drive our thinking and behaviors. I find it vital for my growth to look for the patterns. Without them, I am missing a crucial chance to make sense of my life…and to change what no longer serves me.
By having that large map with everything on it, I can zoom in on a topic without losing the “big picture” connections. I can also jump from topic to topic, pose questions to myself, or journal about what I see, and wait. Inevitably, new insights come.
The final gift of maps
There is one other gift for going through all this work — I also get to discover “what’s missing.”
Sometimes, what’s missing is even more important than what is already there, because that is often the lesson or insight I needed but was either unaware of it or couldn’t quite put into words.
Something about this approach helps my brain to process the wide-ranging pieces of the puzzle and zero in on the very wisdom I needed. Sometimes it is a big insight that makes many things fall together. Other times it’s a more subtle but necessary step forward.
Either way, I get a better understanding of what my life has been about. And that, for me, is the ultimate gift — “integration” – that putting back together a few more lost or broken pieces of my life. My mosaics.
Note:
I am seeking financial support to complete my memoir, work with an editor, and make a visit to my home state for fact-checking. Your help would mean the world to me as I take this step toward healing and giving voice to my journey.
Please like, comment, and share this post to help spread the word. The link for my fundraiser is on GoFundMe. Thank you for your support.
Soul Mosaic 
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