Soul Mosaic

Death. Talismans. Madonna

Author photo of her 1960s 45 record collection

“Why write…now?” Three simple words, but a vital question that demands an answer to the motive for my change of heart.

Dr. Edith Eva Eger, in her 2017 book, The Choice, about her experiences both as a Holocaust survivor and a psychotherapist, talks about the question, “Why now?” Whenever she was confronted with a new patient, her approach was always the same–questions. I loved her description:

“Why now?…This was my secret weapon. The question I always ask my patients on a first visit. I need to know why they are motivated to change. Why today, of all days…Why is today different from yesterday, or last week, or last year? Why is today different from tomorrow?”

But before I can even answer why I would write now, I need to answer the question that came before it: “Why write?” I had actually tried three times before to write something about sexual abuse, wanting to help someone else in the same situation. I tried articles for adults, a picture book for small children, a chapter book for older kids. No matter what I did, it didn’t come out right. The message was wrong…missing…useless. What could I tell a child that might help their situation? “Go tell an adult, and they can help you.” First, I am not a therapist. And second, if I said that, would I be opening them up to a world of more hurt with a simplistic answer?

Even when professionals try to intervene, there are no guarantees that it will be better. Sometimes if a child tells, they risk breaking up their family, retribution for speaking, possibly being removed from the home and put in foster care, or maybe ending up in a worse situation. If authorities remove the offending parent, the entire family’s financial stability might be at risk. I so wanted to make a useful contribution. But what message could I give to anyone?