Soul Mosaic

Everything but calculus

For me, if I need to get up to speed on anything, my first stop is books. I am a book person. It’s how I learn best. I even taught myself to downhill ski using a book. Successfully even. I had no money for lessons, and it was a book that saved me (and anyone around me) on the steep ski slopes. Give me a book, and I can learn almost anything…except calculus. That one is a lost cause.

My writing process has been no different. I have two bookshelves full of tomes just on how to write essays and memoirs. More shelves OF memoirs. And none of those include the MANY shelves on character, plot, pacing, premise, mythology, hero journeys, and the power of story. Yes, just a few.

But there are a select few that have been truly amazing…my constant companions on this journey, for various reasons. Because of them, I risked believing I could write this story, and found my way to delve into it. So I will share those here in case anyone else would find them a good resource.

My top “ten or so” books that are always by my side

For starters, there were four books that not only got me started, but I loved because they offered writing prompts and questions to reflect on at the ends of their chapters:

Your Life is a Book: How to Craft & Publish Your Memoir, by Brenda Peterson & Sarah Jane Freymann. Aside from the reflective questions posed, the book was a wealth of information on how to approach this intimidating process. It also included chapters on the various types of memoirs as well as the challenges to navigate for publishing.

This book also gave me the biggest first gift when I began this process, and I even jotted a note down at the time and stuck it in the book:

HOPE…This book truly made me hopeful that I could do this somehow.

The other three books, with both great information and writing prompts, were:

• The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal From Trauma, Illness, or Loss, by Sandra Marinella, MA, MEd.
• Writing Ourselves Whole: Using the Power of Your Own Creativity to Recover and Heal From Sexual Trauma, by Jen Cross
• A Midwinter God: Encountering the Divine in Seasons of Darkness, by Christine Valters Paintner. This one could also fit into the next category – food for the soul.

These two, along with the above, Midwinter God, fed my soul because they spoke to my love of mythical approaches and my soul’s spiritual journey at this stage of life:

• The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness, 30th Anniversary Edition, by Maureen Murdock
• Deep Memoir: An Archetypal Approach to Deepen Your Story and Broaden Its Appeal, by Jennifer Leigh Selig, PhD

There were two that I related to on a very personal level because the experiences of both authors mirrored many things in my life:

• The first is a repeat mention – Jen Cross’ Writing Ourselves Whole. Like Midwinter God, this book wins in two categories also.
• Of My Own Making, A Memoir, by Daria Burke – Just an incredibly well-written book with not only great factual information, but such a heartfelt telling of what she lived through.

And for helping me find my way in how to deal with truth in memoir writing:

• Dear Writer: Pep Talks & Practical Advice for the Creative Life, by Maggie Smith
• On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, by Stephen King

A “primed” mind doesn’t stop

Once I turn on the “spigot of my mind,” it can be impossible to stop its flow. Not a bad thing, just overwhelming at times. Primed by all the books and questions and writing prompts, my brain just kept on going long after I finished reading something. Idea after idea after idea would just come pouring out, and each idea would trigger two or three or more related ones.

This happens to me especially first thing in the morning when I’m in the shower. I’m sleepy, not focused on any particular thing other than how good the warm water feels, and that’s like the trigger for my subconscious to start speaking. My subconscious, unlike me, is a “morning person.”

I could ignore everything, but I have found that my best ideas come up then. So I can’t afford to lose them. AND at this stage of life, I CANNOT and have learned that I SHOULD NOT trust my memory.

So write them down, right? Absolutely. But in the shower? Well, that’s where my nature museum teaching experience came in handy – use waterproof field notepads and the waterproof pen.

Every time something pops up in my head, I write it down, rip it out of the pad, and toss it out on the bathroom floor next to the shower. When I’m done, I collect them all and start my writing day with them. My husband, noting a particularly fruitful day with many notes on the floor, asked if this is considered a “congestion of thoughts?”

I liked that – a congestion of thoughts. Because when my head is flooding with ideas to remember, it literally does feel congested. And seven decades of silence have yielded MANY days of “thought congestion.”

But no matter. The important thing is to simply not lose them. Later I can write them all down on a large sheet of paper and make a mind map. Then I can start to see how all the stray thoughts connect to many others.

Don’t get blocked seeking perfection

Once I have a topic, or a plan for a series of topics, then it’s just a matter of getting on the keyboard. I try not to let my brain trip me up with things like “Well, which idea should I write about first?” That’s a prescription for paralysis. I have found that the best thing I can do for me is just “pick one.” Pick something, any one of them. And just start. I can always rearrange them later. But don’t get blocked in writing trying to pick the perfect topic first.

Just a few last reminders for me

I have just a few short notes I jotted down for me one day that help me not to worry about perfection. I’ll share those for anyone who would like them:

• Style is the servant of content and soul. It will vary to suit the telling.
• Write staccato…in bullet points if necessary, but just throw it up on the page, get it out quick and unvarnished, like ripping off a bandaid. Let the soul lead the way.
• LOCK UP THE LEFT BRAIN until later drafts.
• The memories and thoughts that should be here will present themselves. If it’s important, the right things will show up.
• What appears in the process is meant to be there, even if it gets cut later. Often it’s not what I planned, but just write what shows up and leave the rest to a Higher Power…and a later editor.

And last and most importantly:

Humble myself in the telling. Be willing to look the fool for love of other victims. Show the shame. The ineptness. The ignorance and mistakes as I struggled to learn and catch up with life.

Up next

This is all I have to say at this point about the tools I’ve needed to navigate my soul searching, writing, and healing processes. If I think of anything else important, it will come at the end of the book.

Now, back to “The Nigredo” – Part II, the rest of my “Dark Night of the Soul,” and nightmares, rage, and the journey through EMDR.

Note:

I am seeking financial support to complete my memoir, work with an editor, and make a visit to my home state for fact-checking. Your help would mean the world to me as I take this step toward healing and giving voice to my journey.

Please like, comment, and share this post to help spread the word. The link for my fundraiser is on GoFundMe. Thank you for your support.

This entry was posted on July 1, 2026 at 8:00 am and is filed under Memoir - sexual abuse trauma recovery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.