So, no question, the incest survivor pays a heavy toll in personal and financial costs for life. But…are there other people harmed and costs to society as well?
Society’s loss – was my financial estimate “exaggerated?”
Just to go back, for a moment, to the financial and lost productivity costs I guessed at for myself in the last post, they weren’t far off the mark.
“The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, 2017) published the study, “Lifetime Economic Burden of Rape Among U.S. Adults,” that concluded that $122,461 is the estimated lifetime cost of rape per victim. For child sexual abuse, the average lifetime cost for survivors is $282,734 per female victim (CDC, 2018). These alarming statistics highlight that the impact of sexual violence extends far beyond immediate trauma, creating long-term financial consequences for survivors. Economic burdens faced by survivors include medical costs, loss of productivity and income, legal expenses, educational disruptions, and mental health costs. In the U.S., the total population economic burden of rape is estimated at $3.1 trillion. This includes about $1.2 trillion in medical care, $1.6 trillion in lost work and productivity among victims and perpetrators, $234 billion in criminal justice costs, and $36 billion in other costs (CDC, 2017).
Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault, “Survivor Safety: The Cost of Recovery – The Economic Impact of Sexual Violence on Survivors,” December 9, 2025
So to be clear, all my costs were pretty accurate, and if anything, underestimated. But even setting me aside, the cost to society is astronomical.
Consider what our society loses every year due to sexual abuse and sexual assaults if you multiply what I suffered by the millions more victims out there. And IMAGINE what could instead be done with that money if sexual assaults did not exist???
Plainly put, the fact that there is such a rampant rate of sexual abuse and assaults means large sums of money and human potential that could achieve so many positive things in our world are instead lost due to one person deciding they have a right to take another’s humanity.
And then, if the original assault wasn’t bad enough, when victims report a crime, they are often re-traumatized by the very systems that were supposed to protect us and bring about justice. So beyond the fact that our social systems cannot support effective healing, often our legal systems do nothing to hold abusers accountable, and instead often make things worse. Bottom line? Our overall society suffers.
“Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community…Trauma isolates…shames and stigmatizes…degrades the victim…dehumanizes the victim.”
Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery
Herman goes on to point out that one of the ways a survivor’s humanity can be restored is to also restore their bond with the community. And I would add that it works both ways…for our community to be healed from these costs, more needs to be done to help the individuals heal. Otherwise, we are just a large group of walking wounded, isolated from each other while the health of our overall community crumbles.
And if people think these estimates exaggerate the frequency of these abuses, later I will write about a recent study involving data from genealogy DNA tests that indicate incest, and children conceived through incest, happens at a much more alarming rate than previously thought.
And hardly a day goes by that I don’t see at LEAST one article on yet another child being sexually abused, never mind the rampant number of sexual assaults on adults.
Do we just write off all those survivors as “collateral damage of life”? Just tell them, “That’s how it is?” Which of them do we save, and which ones do we say, “Well, it just costs too much”? Who gets left behind?
It is a widespread societal issue, and I will speak more about my thoughts about all of this at the end of the book.
Future generations
If so much being lost in the present, both individually and in our society isn’t bad enough, that doesn’t even touch on what costs happen in the future.
I spoke in a previous post about the “intergenerational” effects of trauma – epigenetics – so I won’t go into it too deeply here. But it is a cost to be aware of.
Future generations can and will perpetuate both the behaviors and mindsets that cause abuse and sexual assaults. The beliefs and behaviors parents carry are transmitted to their children. Attitudes of “boys will be boys” or victim blaming teach youth that they can do what they want to another. Societal conditions that don’t provide the means to heal trauma or offer routes to emotional health beget future abusers.
And the very stress and trauma a pregnant mother carries in her body chemically alters the unborn child, possibly affecting their own emotional health. Also, that maternal stress can chemically alter the DNA of that child, possibly setting them up for physical health issues and diseases later in life.
So…another societal cost.
Back to that family environment – Survivor guilt and “witness” costs
And to return, for a moment, to that abusive household, an unchecked abuser alters and harms the whole family environment – not just the child directly harmed, but everyone else around them as well. While this can include other adults who may know what is happening and do nothing, even bigger may be the harm to any other children in that home. And that is a cost researchers are just starting to study.
It is only now occurring to researchers that in a household where a child is physically or sexually abused, if there are siblings who witness any of this, even if they weren’t directly assaulted themselves, they, too, suffered trauma. In fact, recent studies have found high rates of survivor guilt when one sibling is abused, and the other ones witness it, even if they don’t experience it.
“Witnessing threats or assaults to siblings was associated to a significant degree with ratings of depression, anxiety, somatization, anger-hostility, dissociation, and ‘limbic irritability.’ The effect size for witnessing violence towards siblings…was comparable in magnitude to experiencing sexual abuse.”
Martin H Teicher, Gordana D Vitaliano, “Witnessing violence toward siblings: an understudied but potent form of early adversity,”
How does their wound manifest? The impacts are many and run deep.
From a Google search on this topic:
Survivor guilt in non-abused or non-offending siblings of incest/sibling sexual abuse (SSA) victims stems from the complex disruption of the family system after disclosure or recognition of the abuse. [1]
Manifestation of Survivor Guilt
- Self-Blame: Siblings often wonder why they did not notice the signs, protect the victim, or stop the abuse, even when they were also children or unaware. [1]
- The “Why Not Me?” Dynamic: Unabused siblings may feel an irrational sense of guilt or shame that they escaped the trauma while their brother or sister suffered. [1]
- Family Disruption Distress: The guilt is heavily amplified when family systems fracture, deny the abuse, or isolate the victim, leaving siblings torn between loyalties. [1, 2]
Emotional and Behavioral Impact
- Internalizing Symptoms: Siblings frequently experience hidden depression, severe anxiety, and profound loneliness.
- Carrying Secrets: Fear of worsening family conflict or causing further parental distress often forces siblings to carry the emotional burden in silence. [1, 2, 3]
Finding Support
- Family Therapy: Whole-family therapeutic approaches are vital to process shared trauma, assign proper accountability to the perpetrator, and dismantle family secrets. [1]
- Confidential Resources: If you or someone you know is affected by family sexual abuse, free and anonymous support is available 24/7 through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. [1]
So, simply put, multiply my list of personal costs by the number of sibling witnesses in a house, and it becomes clear how far-reaching the damage and hurt extend. It becomes exponential in the number of lives that can be affected by incest, just in one household alone.
Up Next
Despite all of these things, many fight back with grit, tenacity, and resilience in the face of despair. Up next, the last part of this Albedo section- Healing….
Note:
I am seeking financial support to complete my memoir, work with an editor, and make a visit to my home state for fact-checking. Your help would mean the world to me as I take this step toward healing and giving voice to my journey.
Please like, comment, and share this post to help spread the word. The link for my fundraiser is on GoFundMe. Thank you for your support.
Soul Mosaic 
Leave a comment