“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
Leo Tolstoy , Anna Karenina
Where next?
Before continuing my path through this Citrinitas section of the book, I need to take a moment to reflect on the “WHY” of this book and “WHERE NEXT?”
As I’ve worked toward finishing this first “Bible-sized” draft of my story and my insights, I’ve also been thinking about draft # 2.
The important question about that next draft that has been percolating in the back of my mind is:
What is the best way to shape a publishable book from this full first draft, one that will deliver a useful, powerful, needed message to other survivors?
A fiction writer I follow described a story’s theme as “the truth of the main character.” I liked that. And I realized that works for memoir as well as fiction.
The bottom line is that however I shape the next draft, it needs to deliver my truth in my life…it needs to answer: What “theme” do I stand for and give the reader?
The REAL question
But there was an even bigger question that loomed over the first, one an agent, or editor, or publisher might ask:
“Why another book on abuse?”
From the start of this endeavor, I knew there absolutely NEEDED to be another story for readers on this topic; I knew it in my gut. But I also knew I would need to put that “gut knowing” into the right words of a compelling argument for any editor.
It has been in reading the news about yet ANOTHER incident of sexual violence against women…human beings…this time at Cornell. It is another HORRIBLE story that thankfully was brought out ONLY BECAUSE YOUNG WOMEN on the school newspaper refused to let it drop. And in that moment, I had my first clue to answer why another book….The power of STORY. It is only in the courage of the school newspaper’s reporters to deliver this story that there is a chance for justice to happen.
Now, I am not a lawyer or police officer or forensic analyst. So I cannot help the fight for justice in those ways.
But I am a survivor. A storyteller. A person who has BEEN THERE, even if my story details are different. I am a person who has had to walk, sometimes CRAWL back to healing…and eventually, even to thriving.
I have a story of my particular path through struggles, learning, survival, and despair. I have my own story of how I held on, refused to give up my life, and eventually reclaimed it to the best of my ability.
When I looked again at the question: “WHY ANOTHER STORY ON ABUSE?” I suddenly realized THAT IS THE WRONG QUESTION.
The REAL question is:
“WHY IS THERE STILL ATROCIOUS SEXUAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL VIOLENCE BEING VISITED ON ANYONE, WOMAN OR MAN, AND WHEN WILL THIS DEHUMANIZATION END?!”
Who is needed
It is a huge problem. One that will not disappear anytime soon. And it will take all kinds of people to solve this.
For right now, in this acute crisis phase, two categories of people are especially needed:
- The fighters who have the legal, criminal justice, and forensics skills to bring about justice
- The healers who can walk with the “injured” and stand by them as they struggle to find meaning and value again
I am not in the first category. I don’t have those skills. But a healer? No, I’m not a mental health professional. BUT…I am a storyteller…and I have a story I can share.
Story as medicine
That’s when the answer to “Why ANOTHER book on abuse?” presented itself. And it came from my husband’s memory of Leo Tolstoy’s quote from his book, Anna Karenina. As Tolstoy so aptly pointed out, unhappy families are unhappy in so many different ways.
Here was a work of fiction that nailed the truth of a present-day problem. A STORY gave the answer — that there are so many different people in such pain, in all different ways. And each of those hurting people needs to find their own particular way to heal.
If you think about ANY kind of story, there are millions of them over the centuries. There may not be many different plot lines, but there are so many variations on a single theme because millions are looking for THEIR PARTICULAR ANSWER. Their particular “MEDICINE.” And so they search for it in the many different stories out there.
Stories ARE medicine. A comforting hug of love whose embracing arms of support emerge from the words of the tale.
And just like in the medical field now, where the focus is on PERSONALIZED treatments that work with a specific person’s body chemistry, maybe we need so many stories now for the same reason — “Personalized story treatments.”
“Personalized” medicine for sexual violence –
If the above is true, then wouldn’t victims of sexual violence need the same thing? Wouldn’t they need many stories so they can pick the right medicine for their healing needs?
If there are millions of women…men….children…around the WORLD who have been abused, assaulted, and violated…then there are millions searching for their particular way to healing. Wouldn’t they, too, need a variety of stories…a variety of “medicines” to choose from? I don’t think one or two or ten stories suffice.
Because UNTIL THERE IS NO MORE SEXUAL VIOLENCE there will ALWAYS BE SURVIVORS IN PAIN needing to find their own particular story medicine to try and heal.
What will my book do?
My tale may not be the same as the person at Cornell, or another victim’s story or wound. But OUR PATHS HOLD THE SAME PAIN, SHAME, AND DESPAIR. We all have the same PLOT LINE. We just need our particular story medicine for OUR plot line to find our particular answer.
I CAN REACH OUT AND WALK WITH SURVIVORS through my words, and encourage them to keep living. To not ever give up on themselves. TO NOT LET SOCIETY WRITE THEM OFF! To make me an example, a visible mirroring of their pain and their longing for healing and wholeness.
So, as to the “theme” of my story…the truth of my soul and why I write:
- I write to be a HEALER, to offer my one type of medicine to whoever chooses it
- I write for ANSWERS and for the OBLIGATION to help
- I write for WHOLENESS and self-empowerment – my own and any reader out there
And however I finally frame that final version for my book, it will include AUTOPSY, ANALYSIS, and my ANSWERS:
- An AUTOPSY to look at what was back there and how I survived
- An ANALYSIS to learn and understand why it could happen
- And finally, ANSWERS to the questions I’ve held for a lifetime
Back to work, and an invitation to comment
Now, back to finishing this draft
To any readers of this blog, I will ask toward the end of this first draft: what might you want from a story…What medicine can my tale offer?
At that point, or even now, feel free to comment on this post or to write privately:
debrabailey@soulmosaic.org
Note:
I am seeking financial support to complete my memoir, work with an editor, and make a visit to my home state for fact-checking. Your help would mean the world to me as I take this step toward healing and giving voice to my journey.
Please like, comment, and share this post to help spread the word. The link for my fundraiser is on GoFundMe. Thank you for your support.
Tags: books, fiction, life, mental-health, writing
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