Archive for the ‘Memoir – sexual abuse trauma recovery’ Category

The Gift – Extra

June 6, 2008

For anyone interested, a couple of good articles yesterday and today, on Robert Kennedy

CNN online article: When Robert Kennedy Gave His  All

WRAL-TV online article: RFK’s Oldest Child Discusses Legacy 40 Years Later

The Gift

June 4, 2008

As today’s gift, a comment received on yesterday’s gift post – my Winnie the Pooh quote on friendship. I loved what he shared, and wanted to send it out to all. Enjoy!

Tom Says:
June 4, 2008 at 12:58 pm edit

Although this quote does not quite pertain to friendship, whenever I read it I think of my close friends and how they have touched my life.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson

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So, my thanks to Tom for sending this to me. May we give everyone around us the permission to show their own glory, and liberate them, and ourselves, from fear……

The Gift

June 3, 2008

I was searching under “Friendship Quotations” and came across this one, which I liked. It is a worthy, honorable, and true thing to say, something a real friend would say to you. After all, a real friend is the someone who can look you in the eye and see straight past the flaws and the struggles, straight into your heart…the true heart…the one that came to this earth unblemished, the one that carries God and your true essence. That friend can see all you truly are, and all you are truly capable of. So of course it makes sense that that same friend will encourage you to be your best with words like those of Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh:

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” (A. A. Milne)

I would simply add: and more full of goodness than you realize.

The Gift

June 2, 2008

“We train in not being afraid to be a fool.”

An instruction from Pema Chodron’s teacher. From her book: Comfortable With Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion

The Gift

May 31, 2008

“As we train in …patience, we are first of all patient with ourselves. We learn to relax with the restlessness of our energy…Patience takes courage. It is not an ideal state of calm. In fact, when we practice patience we will see our agitation far more clearly.”

Pema Chodron in her book, Comfortable With Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion

The Gift

May 28, 2008

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Anaïs Nin

The Gift – Peace is Every Step

May 27, 2008

If of interest, there is a You Tube video of Thich Nhat Hanh, speaking gently of his responsibility, having been touched directly by war, to bring that reality to others, so they may know. He speaks of the pain of all involved, his own pain and fear, and how to generate peace, love, and understanding. A number of others, including war veterans, speak of their experiences both in Vietnam, and in attending his retreats of healing.

What impressed me most was his gentle reply to a veteran whose battle resulted in the death of 5 children. His response to the soldier was one of love, not punishment, his solution not about the past actions, but about “present moment.” He asked the soldier who was haunted by this memory, “Why do you cling to the past?” He told the soldier there are so many children now who need food or medicine. Help them. He offered the man love, freedom from pain, forgiveness, and a way to take actions in the present as a way to release the past.

Click here if of interest.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who teaches mindfulness, awareness, love and compassion and who works with people worldwide, including American soldiers from Vietnam, to heal and find their peace.

The Gift

May 26, 2008

A wish for all on this Memorial Day, that all may be without struggle, even if just for a passing moment. When I closed my eyes and thought of this line, there was just a momentary flash of peace, a “lifting of a heavy weight.”  Even though fleeting, still, I felt it, and for one moment, it felt great. I wish the same for you as you imagine:

“Feeling who you are in the absence of struggle, in the radiance of effortlessness.”

From track 2 of the CD: “Energy Awareness Meditations,” by Sudhir Jonathan Foust, President, Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health , in Western Massachusetts.

The Post: Memorial Day Reflections on Gifts We Can Give Back

May 26, 2008

Today is Memorial Day. Not the day for cookouts, but remembrance of gifts given to us by the sacrifice of others. In preparing my teaching for tonight’s meditation class, I thought about what gifts we can give back. I thought about three gifts: Acknowledging. Sending the gift of meditative compassion or prayers. Contemplating how war starts and how peace can be grown, so maybe so many young people will never have to make such sacrifices in the first place.

In acknowledging, we learn about what those men and women have gone through, witnessed, given up, suffered. Maybe we read about it, or hear it from them as we meet them or volunteer at a USO or VA hospital. We can’t fix their suffering. But we listen and walk with them through their struggles, validate their experiences. It takes courage to hear these stories but maybe that’s key to the power of this gift. Validation of someone’s feelings can be a powerful medicine.

Sending compassion or prayers can be even more expansive. I believe those can reach anyone anywhere, and the generosity and good will in them, has no limits. And maybe, just maybe, one of those prayers or thoughts released to the Universe will be directed to someone who’s at the end of their rope: a soldier in a foxhole, a mother at home stressed-out from her husband’s 3rd deployment while she struggles to keep kids and household afloat. Perhaps in that bleak moment, they will feel a moment of comfort and not even know why. Yet maybe it will be the moment of comfort they need to keep going.

In contemplating peace vs. war, there are many leaders to guide us. Pema Chodron, an American Buddhist nun, notes in her book, Practicing Peace in Times of War, that “war and peace start in the hearts of individuals.” She further observes that peace is “softening what is rigid in our hearts,” and that “war is never going to end as long as our hearts are hardened against each other.” Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who lived through the Vietnam War reminds us that “In a time of anger or despair, even if we feel overwhelmed, our love is still there. Our capacity to communicate, forgive, to be compassionate is still there. …We are more than our anger….we do have within us the capacity to love, to understand, to be compassionate, always.”

War seems to come out of struggle that got out of control. A friend shared with me this following meditation line from her Yoga CD, Energy Awareness Meditations, by Sudhir Jonathan Foust, President of the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health (track 2):

“Feeling who you are in the absence of struggle.”

(The full guided meditation instruction runs: “Feeling the sensation, feeling the flow of breath, feeling who you are in the absense of struggle, in the radiance of effortlessness.”)

Maybe if we could catch the struggle before it grew huge, if we could remember who we are at our deepest hearts, we could avoid it becoming such a mess. And then we could celebrate Memorial Day without so many hurt and dead.

In our imperfect world, perhaps it will be many lifetimes to achieve such a goal. Still, there are many real gifts that can be given to honor those who sacrifice for us. As I mentioned above, there is always the USO, or VA hospital visits, making quilts, or buying a soldier a meal.

Another unusual but incredibly heartfelt gift comes from this group of artists to the families of those who lost someone in this war. These artists have used their talents to create portraits of those lost servicemen. They take pictures and feedback the family provides, then try to capture not only the likeness, but the heart essence of that person, in the portraits. These are done free of charge for the family.

If you would like to read more about this effort, or to participate should you be an artist, here’s the CNN article from May 23 2008: “Portraits of fallen comfort broken hearts.”

To all who have sacrificed for the rest of us, I simply offer a prayer, and a thank you.

The Gift

May 16, 2008

“Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say ‘Why not?’ ”

Robert Francis Kennedy, based on a quote by George Bernard Shaw in Back to Methuselah