Archive for the ‘Memoir – sexual abuse trauma recovery’ Category

The Post – The Puzzle Pieces I Don’t See

March 20, 2008

I don’t know who wrote the saying at the end of this post. I jotted it down years ago when I saw it somewhere, and it’s been taped to my desk ever since. So just for the record, if the real author sees this, I don’t claim ownership of it, just ignorance of your name.

This saying attracted my attention because it’s one of those things I don’t do well. I think we are often attracted to wisdom we haven’t mastered or to people who are different from us. It’s like those things complement us, like two halves of a broken locket coming together (Can you tell my brain is still on Nancy Drew – The Clue of the Broken Locket ?)

Now even though we are each complete in ourselves – our answers are within and we each possess the best and worst of the Universe in our hearts – I think we rediscover our own truths and talents quicker through our connection to others. It’s like in chemistry. A reaction between two compounds may take place, but if you add a catalyst, it happens a lot faster and more effectively.

Where it might take us years (or centuries) to learn or rediscover something about ourselves, with the shared experiences, joys, and wisdom of friends and the people we encounter in life, we learn our truths so much quicker if we’re open to looking.

I think we are each a puzzle picture whose pieces got splintered and scattered when we showed up here at birth. We spend our life trying to find or rediscover those pieces so we can again be whole. Given enough time, trial and errors, we probably will put it all together, but I think the process is so much richer and effective when shared with the others in our life. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

When someone else displays a particularly interesting puzzle piece of their own, we have the opportunity to be grateful for that. It may give us a clue to something within ourselves we’d forgotten or just weren’t seeing. It may teach us a path for how to do this journey with more joy, and less pain. It can teach us to appreciate and remember the wondrous variety that is out there in life and within our own hearts.

For me, the following bit of wisdom is a reminder of the power of the “simple.” I often look at things and figure unless you can deliver the whole ball of wax right away or in one fell swoop, or unless you can do the “big” thing, why bother because only doing the small thing is useless. I often fail to see that just one small effort can make such a big difference and can lead to success unimagined. It is the puzzle piece I don’t see in life.

So for today, the wisdom of the puzzle piece of simplicity, and thank you to the author of it, whoever you are:

“The opportunity for success lies in the modest and attainable.”

The Gift

March 19, 2008

The gift below is a help for both the beginning and end of any day. It starts with good advice for ending a day well, even if it went badly. It ends with the line of hope that no matter how today went, tomorrow is a new day. From Mr. Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Finish each day and be done with it…You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.”

The Gift

March 17, 2008

“It is a test of a good religion whether you can make a joke about it.”

G. K. Chesterton

The Gift

March 16, 2008

“Think me not unkind and rude that I walk alone in grove and glen; I go to the god of the wood to fetch his word to men.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Gift

March 15, 2008

“If your view is basic badness, you see it wherever you go. If your view is basic goodness, you see it wherever you go.”

Pema Chodron from her interview with Bill Moyers on the PBS special: Faith and Reason

The Gift

March 13, 2008
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

The Gift

March 12, 2008

“When our heart is full of love, then we are creating more love, peace, and joy in the world. When we send the energy of love and compassion to another person, it doesn’t matter if they know we are sending it. The important thing is that the energy is there and the heart of love is there and is being sent out into the world. When love and compassion are present in us, and we send them outward, then that is truly prayer.”

Thich Nhat Hanh, from his book, The Energy of Prayer: How to Deepen Your Spiritual Practice

The Gift

March 10, 2008

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”

Ben Franklin

The Gift

March 9, 2008

“Our personal attempts to live humanely in this world are never wasted.”

Pema Chodron, from her book, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times.

The Gift

March 6, 2008

“The intention to open the heart and mind is what’s essential. If we do good deeds with an attitude of superiority or outrage, we simply add more aggression to the planet. …When we practice generosity we become intimate with our grasping. When we practice the discipline of not causing harm we see our rigidity and self-righteousness. Our practice is to work with guidelines of compassionate conduct with the flexible mind…seeing things without “shoulds” or “should nots.” We aren’t drawing upon a code of conduct and condemning everyone who doesn’t comply. If we draw a line down the center of a room and tell those in it to put themselves in the category of “virtuous” or “nonvirtuous,” are we truly more liberated because we choose “virtuous”? More likely we’re just more arrogant and proud. Bodhisattvas are to be found among thieves and prostitutes and murderers.”

Pema Chodron, from her book: The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times